What Everybody Dislikes About Milf Stands For What And Why

What Everybody Dislikes About Milf Stands For What And Why

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What Does A Milf Stand For

ATM -- In the porn industry, this doesn't mean a bank cash machine. It means taking something that was previously in one person's bottom and then putting that thing directly into the mouth. Says adult actress Joselyn Pink, “I can’t look at an ATM machine the same anymore.” But if you need a hint, the "A" word rhymes with mass. If the "TM" in ATM stands for "to mouth" then you can probably figure out what "A" stands for.

Autoerotic asphyxiation -- Let's just borrow the Wikipedia definition for this one: "intentionally cutting off oxygen to the brain for sexual arousal." Note: Be careful. See also: Scarfing.

BBW -- Abbreviation for "Big Beautiful Women," typically in the context of a sexual attraction to women who are overweight. We had a friend back in college who was a chubby chaser, so we know there must be some audience for this.

Buggery -- Anal sex.

Candaulism -- Let's go to Wikipedia again for this one: "a sexual practice or fantasy in which a man exposes his woman, or pictures of her, to other people for their voyeur pleasure." It can also mean an appreciation on the part of a spouse of watching his or her partner have sex with someone else.

DVDA -- In what seems to us to be a highly unlikely act, let's just say that the "Ds" in DVDA stand for double, and the "V" and "A" stand for a woman's lower parts. If this act were a food, it would be one of those overstuffed burritos from Chipotle. So, if you're doing the math at home, that's four guys, two holes, and what must be one very uncomfortable female participant.

DP -- Stands for double penetration, and it typically means having two different males’ parts inserted at the same time into both of a woman's, uhh... lower parts.

Femdom -- Abbreviation for "Female Dominance," describes sexual activities in which a female is dominant over partners that may be male or female, also referred to in the non-porn, mainstream world as marriage.

Fluffer -- Person who arouses pornographic actors on set in order to prepare them to perform.

Full Nelson -- Belladonna says, “The ‘full nelson’ is my favorite. I was like, ‘Who came up with this, because it's the best position ever! She's holding her legs back behind her head, and he's pushing her face down to the action, making her watch. The guy takes his arms and puts them under her arms and behind her neck. Ever. It's a guy lying on his back. The girl is on top, on her back. It's funny because I recently discovered it a couple years ago and never knew it existed. It's just a nasty position. ’”

Golden showers -- Urinating onto a partner's body. Try it at home, or try The Green Door.

Gonzo -- A type of pornography in which the camera is acknowledged and often used by the actors to make the viewer feel like part of the scene. Notable gonzo directors include John Stagliano, Max Hardcore, Erik Everhard and Belladonna.

Hentai -- Very sexually explicit animation or comic, such as Japanese anime. Cartoon sex is so hot.

Jack gagger -- A husband that procures men to pay for sex with his wife. His motivation could be: A. The recession, B. He's sick of doing the job himself.

Merkin - A wig for the pubic area. It may be decorative and colorful (Pink), more natural (Alanis) or you can skip it entirely and go clean (Britney).

MILF -- If you've watched any of the American Pie movies, you know what this means. If not, let's just say that it's a fancy way of referring to an older woman with whom you'd really like to have "relations" with.

Money shot -- The messy climax/end of the movie. After that, roll the credits.

Pig Roast -- Having "relations" with a woman from behind while she is sucking on another man's, uhh..., tummystick. See, we used it in a sentence.

Who Is The Best Milf

Podophilia -- Foot fetish. One of the more tamer fetishes in existence.

Power tools -- Electric or battery-operated tools (think Home Depot) that can be used in sex play, although this was not their original function; think a power drill augmented with an adult toy attached to the end. Talk about home improvement.

What Is The Definition Of Milf

Queening -- Sitting on the side of a person's face as a form of bondage, or as a really uncomfortable, uhh... throne.

Roman Showers -- Vomiting on partner, usually after drinking urine or wine. What about after one two many shots of Patron? Mexican shower, perhaps?

RTF -- This is the backwards version of another popular position, "R" stands for reverse, the T stands for something that rhymes with "bitty" and the "F" stands for something that rhymes with "buck." You get it, now? You’re Squishing My Nose. Girls refer to this position as the Ow! The guy uses his partner’s breasts, for, uh, fun, while he places his bottom on her face.

Skiing -- When a girl is in the middle of two guys, simultaneously "pleasuring" them with her hands. Got a visual?

Spinner -- An adult actress or prostitute with a tiny frame, usually very thin and having small breasts. The man would purportedly be able to "spin" the woman around on his erect manly part. May induce dizziness, among other things.

Where To Meet Milf

Stranger On The Rocks -- Numbing your hand with a bucket of ice before masturbating. Brrrr.

Three-Eyed Turtle -- Filling all orifices of a female by putting a thumb in her bottom, fingers in her, well, you know where, and the male organ in her mouth. We're not really sure why this is called a turtle, though the three-eyed part makes some sense, we guess.

Toilet Training -- Urinating or defecating on a partner as a form of slave training. And to think that we thought this was what you do with a new puppy. Wow.

Tummysticks - This one’s a fun slumber party game. Two guys lie down facing each other and each simultaneously grinds his penis against the belly of the other person. The first person to reach climax loses.

Veggie scene -- All girl scene, no meat.

Wall-to-wall -- A series of unrelated sex scenes with no plot.

Water sports -- The use of urine for arousal.

Weight training -- The use of hanging weights on genitals or hooks for arousal. Whoever said the gym was boring?

What Is The Meaning Of Milf

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